Too many problems occur with family/friends and and even too many relationships fail these days. And I think one of the main reasons … ok two main reasons … are 1) communication, and 2) ability to see the other person point of view. Basically, these two are related. People are so busy ONLY seeing their own point of view that they are incapable of communicating.
For example, you have a long day at work. lots of pressure, many bad things. You go home. Someone (your spouse, friend, etc) is worried about their mother being sick and mentions this. You are busy in your own thoughts, so only say "oh .. that’s sounds bad". Because you seem disinterested and uncaring, the other person gets upset with you. You don’t really understand what is going on and have had a long day, so you get upset back. Now, both people have had a bad day, have bad things to deal with, and because of lack of communication, are upset at each other! Then, the other person can only see their side of the situation and decides to ignore you and be cold to you. You realize this and feel bad, but also feels upset. You are torn between wanting to say "i am sorry" to make the other person happy and wondering WHY should I say I am sorry … they are the one who is wrong. So neither says i am sorry because both are so busy thinking they are the RIGHT person. Then, after a few hours or even a few days, both people feel worse!! All because both had a bad day, there was a misunderstanding, both blamed the OTHER person, and nobody could say SORRY.
Why waste 10 minutes, 1 hour, 1 day having these negative (and stupid) feelings? Why not take 5 minutes to realize that most of the time, things are nice and good, so there must be a good reason for this unhappiness (fight). Wouldn’t it be better to say "sorry for getting upset .. what is going on? … I have had a bad day, but I care about you and I want to make things better"
Seems simple doesn’t it??? But why are too many people too selfish? to full of pride? too influenced by society? to stop trying to WIN the fight?? Because of course, the OTHER person is wrong, right??
We all need to realize that most of the time both persons probably are at some level of fault and the best solution is to talk about it. Say Sorry. and say Thank you for listening.