Saying Goodbye

A good friend was telling me a story about his parents from his childhood.

When he was little, his grandmother (father’s mother) lived together with him and his parents. His grandmother was this little lady, maybe 1.6 meters tall.  One day, my friend’s father (a large man) and mother got into an argument. They were both upset and the father said he was leaving (he had to go on a business trip and he didn’t want to keep arguing).  Well, my friend’s grandmother blocked the door and told him, "You are not leaving yet. You have to go kiss your wife goodbye."  At first, the father did not agree and just wanted to leave, but the grandmother (this little old lady) would not get out of the way and insisted, saying "You will be gone for many days.  You must say goodbye to your wife and give her a kiss".  So, my friend’s father listened to his mother and kissed his wife goodbye.  FYI, my friend’s parents have now been married for 50 years.

Two important things …

1) Take the time to say good bye. You never know if it is the last time you will see the person.

2) Show affection. We humans need it. Each time you touch someone you care about, hug them, give a small kiss … it strengthens and reinforces the "connection" between two people.  The stronger the connection, the better we feel. And the better we deal with the bad things (that sometimes come up).

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Sorry and Thank You

Sorry and Thank You ….. Two things that people should say more (and learn more about) in life and in relationships.

Too many problems occur with family/friends and and even too many relationships fail these days. And I think one of the main reasons … ok two main reasons … are 1) communication, and 2) ability to see the other person point of view.  Basically, these two are related.  People are so busy ONLY seeing their own point of view that they are incapable of communicating.

For example, you have a long day at work. lots of pressure, many bad things.  You go home.  Someone (your spouse, friend, etc)  is worried about their mother being sick and mentions this.  You are busy in your own thoughts, so only say "oh .. that’s sounds bad".   Because you seem disinterested and uncaring, the other person gets upset with you.   You don’t really understand what is going on and have had a long day, so you get upset back.   Now, both people have had a bad day, have bad things to deal with,  and  because of lack of communication, are upset at each other!   Then, the other person can only see their side of the situation and decides to ignore you and be cold to you.  You realize this and feel bad, but also feels upset.  You are torn between wanting to say "i am sorry" to make the other person happy   and   wondering WHY should I say I am sorry … they are the one who is wrong.   So  neither says i am sorry because both are so busy thinking they are the RIGHT person.   Then,    after a few hours or even a few days, both people feel worse!!   All because both had a bad day, there was a misunderstanding, both blamed the OTHER person, and nobody could say SORRY.  

Why waste 10 minutes, 1 hour, 1 day    having these negative (and stupid) feelings?   Why not take 5 minutes to realize that most of the time, things are nice and good, so there must be a good reason for this unhappiness (fight).  Wouldn’t it be better to say "sorry for getting upset .. what is going on? … I have had a bad day, but I care about you and I want to make things better"

Seems simple doesn’t it???  But why are too many people too selfish?  to full of pride?  too influenced by society? to stop trying to WIN the fight??  Because of course, the OTHER person is wrong, right?? 

We all need to realize that most of the time both persons probably are at some level of fault and the best solution is to talk about it.   Say Sorry.  and say  Thank you for listening.

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One Day in Xi’an

Spent Saturday in Xi’an — my Indian colleague wanted to go there and see the terracotta warriors.  And since I had never seen them, decided to go with him.  To make it an adventure, we left Friday night, arrived early Saturday, saw as much as we could on Saturday, and then the night train back to Beijing … haha.  We wanted to be back so we could watch the World Cup final (Holland vs Spain).  While in Xi’an, we saw the Terracotta warriors (兵马俑), Bell tower (钟楼), Drum Tower (鼓楼), Pagodas, and the City Wall (城墙).
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Up too late!

Stayed up and watched the Holland and Uruguay World Cup soccer match.  Very exciting … Holland won 3-2.

Afterwards, could not sleep.   Many things on my mind.  A little black – so watched the sun come up. Now, only have a little strength. Actually, do not have little strength.  Maybe have nothing!  haha.  Time to sleep.

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Arrived in Kota Kinabalu

Well, I arrived in KK city tonight from Singapore to a driving rain storm.  Kota Kinabalu is on Borneo island, the eastern part of Malaysia. The plan is to sleep one night here at the Kinabalu Backpacker Lodge and get up at 6am to catch the bus to Kinabalu Park where Mount Kinabalu is.  it is one of the highest mountains in SE Asia, over 4000 meters.  BUT … there is a typhoon coming towards the philippines so it might be too rainy here (too dangerous) to climb to the top of the peak.  Have to try though … hope it all works out.

Currently, I am sitting in my bunk bed at the "Lodge".  Nice, little backpacker place with dorm beds for 25 RM per night.  clean and the staff so far is very nice and friendly. 

Should try to get some sleep … have to get up around 5:45 to have a bite to eat, brush my teeth and head to the bus station for the 2 hour ride to the mountain.

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Rules of Life

I finally added my Philippines Trip photos today.  I will write about the trip later….    so today will write the first two rules of life.

When getting ready to do something or say something, consider these two rules:

1) Would you say it or do it to your mother?

2) Would you do it if you were in your own home?

Think about it 🙂

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Inspirational Quote

Today’s Inspirational Quote:

"Consciously or unconsciously, every one of us does render some service or other. If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger, and will make, not only our own happiness, but that of the world at large."

~ Mahatma Gandhi

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